(1)  pay your mortgage bill before ALL others.  Missing one payment can hurt our credit rating & make you ineligible to refinance.  (2)  Do NOT tell your bank you are struggling, but  find a government-approved, non profit housing counselor at MakingHomeAffordable.gov or call 888-995-HOPE.  FREE service.  The counselor might suggest cutting your expenses or looking for extra income.  One family rented their home & then rented a cheaper place for 2 years.  If your FICO score is above 740, then refinance.  The Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP) will let you refinance with negative equity.  If your credit is BELOW 700, then less options, but BE PERSISTENT.  Go to Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) to maybe get your payments reduced.  Incidentially the often expensive closing costs can be rolled into your refinancing of the loan.  Could do a short sale or deed in lieu of foreclosure or strategic default.  The banks do not like this.  Well worth pursuing if your goal is to KEEP YOUR HOME.